Embracing the dark side. . . .

One day to go, y'all! Will I make it to -40?

I don't know, but what I do know is that these jeans that are two sizes smaller than I would have purchased even last month feel pretty good!

I know you. You are very kind and supportive and celebrate my victories with me. But you also like it when I write about the dark side of Debb. For those of you that are still surprised that there is a dark side, you're my favorites!

With any lifestyle change, there will be psychological garbage that arises, but that garbage presents more things to work on. Hooray! (sarcasm) To quote my therapist, "We'll never be done. There will always be more stuff to uncover, more ways to grow." I promptly give her the raspberries when she says it. So with this lifestyle change that I have made, there has definitely been some growth, some psychological benefits, but it also awakened some of my "selves" that had been sleeping a bit.

I mentioned the first last night, The Pusher. Our pusher keeps us going, prompts us to excel, etc. When the pusher takes over, however, it becomes a "never enough" self. My pusher takes on a drill sergeant quality, telling me to keep in step, go faster, do more, give more, produce more. The business side of Xyngular has awakened my pusher. I've been keeping her in balance for quite some time. About four years ago, she was a front-and-center dominant self. But I've learned to incorporate her opposite, the beach bum, and create balance--until recently. When I am awake, not eating, working on school stuff, helping friends or family, my pusher is constantly telling me to make more connections, calls, send another email, create a chart or spreadsheet, which often aren't needed but the pusher likes them because it means I was doing something business related. The pusher keeps me busy. I have to be aware of her.

The one that is growing recently is the Resenter. She's partnered with the Perfectionist, the Fear of Failure, and the Don't Expect Too Much, and they are a fearsome quartet. The Resenter and the Nice Person are often at odds with each other. The Nice Person is happy for everyone and all of their accomplishments and achievements. The Resenter is a bit jealous. Jealous of people hitting their goals first. Jealous of the speed and ease with which some distributors sponsor people. Jealous of time that others spend with friends, etc. The Nice Person used to always squash the Resenter. Resentment is not a nice feeling to acknowledge. BUT--acknowledge it I must in order to work on myself. It's one of the darker Debbs that I try to hide.

And that, my friends, is enough of my "dirty laundry" from my inner selves aired today. If I do it all now, what will keep you reading other days!

Until tomorrow!