Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. . . .

Turn and face the stranger. . . . 

There, now everyone should have David Bowie singing in your head now. Pause for a second. I haven't listened to Bowie in yeeeears.

Ok, I'm back.

Yeah, guys, change is hard--even if you are someone that doesn't mind change. (Which, I am finding that that is not me!)

A friend of mine, learned from her friend, who will be mentoring me in the Xyngular business that "90 days can change your life!" Anyone who wants to make some improvements or positive changes in his/her life will think that sounds amazing. I agree. I also think it is frightening as hell! You know my tendency to over think things:
What if my life is exactly the way God wants it to be?
What if the changes I make are the wrong ones?
What if it works for everyone else, but not me?
What if I make the changes and find that I am not as happy?
What if. . .
What if. . .
What if. . .

Yesterday, I thought, no, I knew I could do whatever I dreamed. Whatever I set my sight on. Whatever I planned to do.

Today, not so much. In less than 24 hours, I talked myself out of all of the courage, optimism, positivity, and moxie that I wore like a badge yesterday. What a roller coaster!

I wonder what it is in the psyche of some of us that makes us sabotage ourselves. Yesterday I was going to knock over any obstacle that stood in my way. Today I am shattered by self doubt, self consciousness, and the blahhhhhs. (Good gracious, my therapist will ear her fee tomorrow!)

I know that I am not the only one that experiences this. I may be one of the only ones that is openly sharing it in such a forum. But, it will give you something else to watch in me. Some of you have signed on to watch me lose weight. Some to see how I can build a thriving business. Some because every now and then I bury of comedy in the lines of the post. Now, some of you can watch as I work on myself and my self confidence, awareness, etc.

So, it seems my blog is a one stop shop for some of you! I hope everyone has a great night!

Dropping habits. . . .

. . . .is easier than kicking them!

90 days can change my life. 90 days can change my life. That will be my mantra for the next 90 days. And, gentle readers (haha--the only time I channel Miss Manners), I need to make a change. But, is that not a big part of changing--realizing I need and being willing to change? So, to quote many sitcoms and memes on Facebook, I'm going to pull up my big girl panties and get to changing.

Change 1--get back into the blogosphere! Boy, when I allowed myself to go from posting every day, to posting on specific days, to posting when there was something major to post, I fell off into nothing-ness. So, I declare, I am going to begin posting daily again, even if it's a little post.

And the videos? Where did they go? I haven't made more, but more are coming. To help my teammates on their 8-Day Ignite Cycles, I plan to video myself taking supplements, fixing meals/snacks/shakes, for the cycle. It'll be fun. And it means I'll be wearing make-up 8 days in a row.

Exercise--yoga yoga yoga--so beneficial for the mind, body, and spirit. I need to add more, though. Weekly yoga, and the exercise suggested by our Product Development Manager, whom I will be working with closely to shrink this belly.

So habits, dropped too easily, picked back up, other habits to cultivate.

And the business. It is time for me to think of myself as a business woman, to stop apologizing for it, and to think positively about it. It is time to break from that comfort of the laptop and iPad and talk to more people face-to-face. Peter Griscom, our Product Development Manager has a goal to change 1,000,000 lives. It's time for me to do my part in helping him reach his goal. I feel so much better, and I want everyone to feel the way I do.

However, I've been experimenting this summer. I've gone without supplements some weeks, while eating healthy. I've taken supplements and ate crazily. I've gone without supplements and have eaten crazily. All of this to see what results I would get, so I can discuss with facts and stats when people have questions. An unexpected outcome of this is the ankle pain that had cleared up has come back. So, I'll call the doctor to take care of it, and never go without my Global Juice and Xypstix again. (Probably not a great idea to experiment, but I've learned my lesson. After all, Global Juice is a wellness product, not a weight loss product. OK, so I didn't think everything out all the way.)

So, faithful readers--hold me accountable! Special shout out to Kelly who asked if I had written any posts lately. It was the nudge I needed. Thanks, Kell!

This will not just be. . . .

. . . . something I try for awhile and give up!

Do y'all remember when I first started this blog? Every day. Every single day for a couple of months I posted. Some were really well-written, quality posts, and some, well, some just sucked. But I made the effort. And life happened, and the posts went to a couple a week, once a week, and then stopped. It doesn't mean I quit thinking about my blog and what I'd share with you. Well, it's time to pick it up again.

I still plan to be absolutely truthful--remember full disclosure--with regard to the journey I am on, the paths I'm taking the smooth ways and rocky paths. That remains true. Though I haven't been writing, I have not stopped working on myself. I plan to share, not only the weight loss and health and wellness journey, but other parts of the journey, too. I've recently begun practicing yoga; I'm learning about myself with regard to habits, goal setting, and what I need to do to be a more successful me. I'm sad to report that the business-end of my Xyngular journey has not taken off yet as I wanted it to. I'm not quitting. I'm not expecting overnight success. I did expect to be further along. Much of the study and work I am doing on myself will help me my business endeavors.

I've got about a month left before I go back to school, and believe it or not, the structure of being back may be good for me. Yes, I, who hate being structured and routinized, am admitting the structure will be good for me.

So, to end for the night, I'm just going to list some of the things running through my head. Some may become future posts. Some may make you laugh. All have come straight from my mind, uncensored--I've bound and gagged my inner critic for the next ten minutes. Here goes:

1. I can't believe that after a 16 day vacation and returning to do an 8-day, I lost all 10 pounds, plus 2 more.
2. If you put a bag of Doritos in front of me, I will eat them, and eat them, and eat them. . . .
3. I worry when I talk to people about Xyngular that they will think I'm preying on them.
4. I'm consciously working on #3.
5. People have countered that once on Xyngular, they are afraid they will not be able to maintain and will have to be on it the rest of their lives. I'm experimenting to prove them wrong.
6. Although I am doing #5, I am no in no way ready to maintain. 
7. After yoga my hamstrings kill me in such a good way that I can't wait to do it again. Also, more than my body feels good after yoga.
8. Why aren't more people doing yoga?
9. Last yoga one, I promise: One of my goals is to do aerial/swing yoga at the studio where I go. It looks like so much fun. (Pink Lotus Yoga Center rocks!)
10. I don't feel as good when I'm not taking my supplements. It is more than weight loss!! I promise. :)
11. I am tired of renting; I want a house. My goal is the end of May when my lease runs out.
12. I MUST create my dream-board this week. I can't decide if I want to do it digitally or actually cut pictures, letters, etc. out of magazines--you know, old school collage.
13. I'm very excited and nervous to go to Vegas for Xyngfest in a couple of weeks.
14. I need to read some books on directing plays before I go back to school.
15. Sometimes I feel like I'm proverbially "spinning my wheels."
16. I think this enough for one night.
17. I leave you with a video from Puerto Rico. Why it is called Crash Boat Beach--I loved to watch this! 

OK, so it may not be any wow factor! I love it! :)