Turning Over a New Leaf. . .

. . . Again

A recurring theme in my posts seems to be changing. Changing my life, thoughts, attitude, etc. It probably will be fore a time. I've decided that there needs to be changes, and "poof" I'm doing it.

This change, is changing how people respond to me. I do realize that that change, in part, must be made by the other parties. And I know you can't change other people. However, I can precipitate that change by changes in my habits.

I have had a wonderful week back at school with my colleagues. But there are couple of things that are just sticking in my "craw." I am typically a highly collaborative teacher. I love exchanging ideas with other teachers and bouncing ideas around. In one of my meetings, which should have been collaborative, not only was there no collaboration, but my comments and ideas were met with blank stares. And when actually discussed a combines event, the conversation shut down when a teacher said she'd "chew on it" and let us know. I kept calm, an with only a slight tremor in my voice, let her know that we were not putting anything off on her. Anyway, you don't care about all of that, and it may seem a bit petty.

Then in other areas, I've noticed a trend lately of non committal, my ideas or comments being me with blank stares, and to put it as delicately as I can, it pisses me off. Previously, I've smiled and joked about getting a date mixed up, forgetting my keys, not understanding something. However, I think I have perpetuated the seeming thought that I am flighty, don't have it "going on," am not professional. That is going to change. I am going to change.

This is hard because conflicts may arise, and I HATE conflicts. I must be prepared for that. As I am changing my appearance, my weight, my inner thoughts, I am also going to change my professional "stature." When I taught English, I was a force to be reckoned with. I will be the same as I teach drama, and as I continue working so my Xyngular business can grow, too.

My new leaf--
I will speak up.
I will confront things head on
I will always be on time
I will strive to ensure things are organized
I will ask for help when I need it, and for clarification when it is needed, as well
I will not allow others to waste my time

I will reflect on these goals, just as my others.

Idiom Focus
* To turn over a new leaf--In the 16th century, people referred to book pages as leaves. It has become an idiom that means to start over. Turning over a new page to begin afresh.

*Craw--basically the throat of the bird. If something "sticks in your craw," it is something you cannot swallow, it sticks in your throat.