Damn You, Sun Chips and Zeroes

I can't keep up with numbers anymore, and everybody puts the date, so I need to think of another way to lead off the posts. Feel free to share ideas.

Ok--I want a do-over for the beginning of the month. For all intents and purposes it is April 5, and what do I have to show for it? Bupkis. (Cannot believe that was on autocorrect!)

As you can tell by the title of the post, I had a battle with Sun Chips today, and I lost. Of course they are now floating around in my belly, so maybe there was no winner after all. Now, I have not lost enough weight to have such an unplanned "pig-out." (Even as I say it, I laugh at the fact that three months ago eating Sun Chips would have been considered healthy in my mind.) And really, I've sneaked--I know some of you think it should be snuck, but sneaked is correct--a chip or Dorito here and there. I started of fine today--then got out of control. I had about a half of a serving at lunch, and small handful while making my shake this afternoon, and just now, at 11:00, ate mindlessly. Why? I don't know. Because they were there? Blech. . . . Were they good? Yeah. Were they that good? Heck no! What was I thinking? Who the hell knows? What I do know is that it is done, and we'll see what the repercussions are tomorrow.  I'll also say that I have not been following the plan strictly, but I have been eating healthily. I do intend after break to hit the plan again. Tonight's rendez-vous with the chip bag was just so Debb-of-the-past. In all seriousness, this did teach me that my issues surrounding food are still lying in wait. They aren't completely gone. And that is something that I'll have to keep working on. That's all I'm going to say about that. . . . moving on.

On the business end of Xyngular, I hate the beginning of the month. Our point values "zero out." I makes sense, and I do not have an intellectual problem with it. Emotionally, however, seeing those lines of zeroes stirs up all kinds of things for this perfectionist. 00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 See, it's anxiety provoking isn't it? Truthfully, it puts me in a frozen state of inability to act. What do I do? Who do I call? What if I fail? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! I am my own worst enemy; I accept that responsibility. So tomorrow, I must find a way to move beyond this to have a strong April. In addition, I need to have things in place to keep this from happening in May, June, and so on.

So, with that said, I bid you bonne nuit, so I can go to sleep and wake up ready to work and get with the program tomorrow.