Processing, Introspection, and Other Messy Stuff

Day 22--Month 2

Down--1 more pound! (5 pounds to go by February 28!)

I'm changing things up today and writing on my lunch break instead of tonight. Just want to keep all of you guessing.

I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days. I am so completely thrilled with not only my weight loss, but also how great I feel. I love that Xyng helps me make it through and entire day of school plus two hours of play rehearsal and still leaves me with energy to do what I need to at home. I love that when I am not on LEAN shake day, that I crave the goodness and the vitamins, nutrients, and proteins that Lean contains. I love seeing the results on my friends old and new. When my friend, Heath, introduced me to Xyngular, he was really giving me a gift. I absolutely love this stuff!

Here's where I'm struggling. . . . not only did I order the products, but I signed on to be a Xyngular distributor, much like Mary Kay or Beauty Control--maybe Pampered Chef--but I'm not sure how all of those work. And I do want to be a distributor. What I am struggling with is the how. I'm working on, what my therapist calls, "owning one of my disowned selves." (She's a smart cookie!) In my focus and quest for creativity and art, loving people where they are, and championing for the marginalized, I've warped in my mind that selling, making a profit is "bad." I've disowned the salesperson part of me. My wires are crossed somewhere, and I own it and know it is something I need to work on. In my past I was a pretty good salesperson--earning my way to Girl Scout Camp, New York City, and Washington when I was much much younger. So what has happened? I may never know.(But I will let you know if I do figure it out.)

I don't think others in sales are doing anything wrong or that they are "bad people." It's another one of those weird things I have where I feel as if I am doing something "wrong." Logically it makes no sense. But we humans every now and then don't make logical sense. (Wink wink) I can so clearly see the big picture--me joining with old and new friends, offering each other support, growing, bettering our lives, becoming our own community of positivity. Helping each other. Helping others. Of using these products to make our lives healthier, but that's just a small part. It's more than just getting products in people's hands so I can make a bit of money. It is improving the lives of all of those who are a part. That's why I want to do this.

I guess I just need to get out of my own way. I guess I have to figure out how to do that. I know there is a bunch of fear involved--fear of failure, of ticking people off, or other's opinions of me. How to we re-wire ourselves? So you know what this means, blogosphere; I guess this is another area of personal growth for me. And I guess I'll be growing here in front of all of you--if you will indulge me! :) As always I welcome your comments, advice, help, kind words, constructive criticism, etc.

I'm baaaaack. . . .

Day 21--Month 2

Hey, y'all! (OK, I'm not quite that Southern.) I've got some results to report:

At the end of my last 8 Day Cycle--

24 pounds down

32.5 inches gone

My goal for the month of February is to lose a total of 30 pounds by the end of the month. I've got 6 pounds to go. I can do it! I hope. I've got to really get back on track and take not so many side steps. While I've stuck pretty much to the program, I've begun adding things. Light Sour Cream here, a handful of nuts there, snacks with no carbs, but empty of nutrition. When I think about it, it has probably been a whole 10 days since I've drunk enough water. Gosh, this reflection and reassessment is a buzz-kill. But one thing this journey has already taught me is not to judge myself so harshly, and I'm not. What I am is ecstatic about my progress.

I must confess, in full disclosure, that I'm falling into the same traps I usually do, and those traps involve my lack of--whispering--discipline. Ssssshhhhhhh. . . . I hate that word. D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E  I have a severe lack of it. Always have, but I'm trying to change the "always will" part. And that with my almost pathological inability to remain organized, and it's pretty bleak! Hahaha! But I will reveal more later--oh my gosh, could it be, GOALS?!?! Now, I want to tell you about my friend, Kellie. I've yet to meet her in person, but she is a marvelous friend and inspiration to me daily.

Kellie began using Xyngular products 1 year ago on February 14. In the summer of 2012, after she had lost so much weight that she needed to buy new capris for the summer. In her head she knew how much she weighed, and she also knew what size she should wear at that weight. When she tried on the capris of that size that should've fit, they fell off of her! She decided to put the scale away that day. See the Xyngular products are not products designed for only weight loss; they are health and wellness supplements. What happened to Kellie is the products were changing her body more than she knew. She was was building muscle as she was losing fat, and muscle weighs more than fat. This is why she was smaller than what she thought.

So, this past week, on February 14, 2013, on her 1 year anniversary using Xyngular, after one year of inspiring people like me to change our lives, Kellie pulled the scale back out. In 1 year, she lost 91.2 pounds! I'm so proud of her, her discipline, and the way she shares her story, her knowledge, and her love and encouragement. I'm proud to call her my friend, and hope that I can make her proud of me, as well!

Here is one of her pictures:

Way to go, Kellie! Keep up the good work!

Because I'm Impatient

Day 16--Month 2

Everything in Its Own Time

In my humanness and expansion

Of the divine declaration of

Dominion over the beasts of the land, air, and sea,

I mightily wrestle against reason and logic

Imposing my will where it doesn't belong,

Struggling to control and manipulate the now,

Bending it into the visualized perfection of the future,

Mourning results that failed to measure up,

Failing to remember what a thousand angels whispered to me,

"Everything in its own time."

I just can't get that through my thick skull.

Of Noodles and Wild Women

Day 14--Month 2

I feel like it has been forever since I posted. I have a good excuse. I've been on a retreat, a Wild Women's Weekend at Lutheridge in Arden, NC. 

  

It was much needed. As I work to transform many aspects of my life, I also want to keep myself in check, and keep vanity and narcissism at bay. It was a time for me to reflect, and evaluate. Our topic was leadership, and I felt that timely, as well!

It was interesting because, for the first time since beginning my new lifestyle, I was not in control of when I ate. But, I kept in mind that I was in control of what I ate. So, I jockeyed with meal and snack times, but I kept in mind my goal.

I thought Saturday at lunch I'd have a challenge. We had a build your own baked potato  salad, and soups. The salad was a given. Not eating a potato was, as well. When I got up to the chef prepared buffet, I was greeted by steaming piles of noodles (to put in chicken soup--which smelled heavenly). If I haven't expressed to you before how much I love pasta, let me do it now. I WOULD EAT PASTA/NOODLES EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE, EVERY MEAL UNTIL I DIE AND NOT GET TIRED OF IT!! Well, in the past I would've piled my plate with those noodles, forsaking all else. I didn't do that. And I did not completely pass them up. I put a tablespoon, at most, on my plate. Enough for two tiny bites. And I savored those buttery noodles, but I did not long for more. I didn't feel deprived. I tasted, enjoyed, and moved on to my salad. It ended up that my friend Julie and I had to go back to our room to get some more protein, but we were prepared!

I haven't yet processed everything from the weekend and its relation to me and my journey. I love helping and inspiring people, or at least making people think or laugh a little, and I feel sure that will remain within reach in my backpack on the paths of my journey. To be continued. . . .

Celebrating!

Day 10--Month 2

Results from yesterday--Down 2 more pounds, 1.9 of which were fat, making a total weight loss of 22 pounds! Woot woot! I've also lost a total of 28 inches. And if you have  children or students that say fractions do not matter, let me be the first to tell them they do! The 1/4, 1/2, and 3/4 inches do make a difference when I do my measurements!   

The madness that was a week and a half ago took its toll. My experiment of eating the kinds of food I did before caused a gain of 8 pounds. I'm sure most of it was water-weight due to salt content. But I had to work it off. So I'm proud of the additional 2 I lost. But I move forward.

I'm learning so much about food. I've always been a "why" person. I do not believe things or do things because someone, even an expert, says it's good for me. I'm still waiting for the "why" of trigonometry! I've only used sine and cosine in word games.

So, I'm going to keep tonight's post short, and share an info graphic of some vegetable protein.

A Rose by Any Other Name

What's in a name?

You may have noticed that I changed the name of the blog, and the domain name of the blog itself. I really loved the names I had, but unfortunately the Xyngular company has asked that no name with the products or the company itself be in domain name, social web site name, etc. I understand. Although there are many of us out there that are ecstatic about the products, the system, etc., there is no way corporate could or should monitor what is said, proclaimed, etc. It's only logical for the safety and well being of the company. However, it was a pain in the derrière to find a name that I liked. I tried many things with journey, but they were already taken. So I opted to use path. The sunshine and rocks refers to the good times and bad, celebratory and struggle, happiness and pain. As for the name of the blog, "Walking the Path of Change," not only refers to the changes I am currently undertaking, but also the belief that I am coming to accept that growth means change, and to fear change, thus means to fear growth. So, I've chosen to embrace it, hence tying in with my word of 2013--courage

I feel like an adult! I am building a website to build my Xyngular business. (Well, I'm not Building it personally; I decided that teaching, directing an after school production, building a business, and  having some time for me, did not leave me quite enough time to learn to do this.) I'll post it when it's up and running. It's exciting! It's kind of cool to be in charge of this leg of my journey! In addition to the website, I've created a group on Facebook geared toward weight loss, exercise, and overall wellness--for people striving to be who they were designed to be. I hope for it to be a group where we share what works and doesn't work for us, inspiration, photos, videos and other media, etc. It is called Path to Wellness. I hope to get it kicking soon!

Today ends Ignite cycle 4! I'll post results tomorrow. Tonight I went to a local restaurant and sat in a booth. These booths are usually uncomfortable for me because it is a tight squeeze. not tonight! I did a little happy dance. Can't wait to measure tomorrow!

What's It Matter?

Day 8--Month 2

Down 4 pounds, but not quite where I was last Thursday. :(

Yes, the way I'm counting the days is confusing me, too. It is the 8th day of my second month of my New Lifestyle and Wellness Plan. (How long do I say new? I will be dropping that soon. However, I am on the 6th day of my Ignite cycle--4th cycle.  And it is the 3rd day of the second month--February 3. I must work this out. You may not care one way or the other, but I'm chronicling my journey, so I want it to be easy for me to follow, look up, etc. hmmmmm.....

Never doubt that you matter.

First, I love it when you all tell me that you read this blog and that it helps you, or inspires you, or even makes you laugh. It matters to me. I've had a pretty rough week. Though I received an extremely positive report from the oncologist, the appointment left me reeling, then my experimental madness caused me to gain back some of the weight I had lost, much more than I expected. Things at school were great, but I was in a funk. There was comfort in getting back to the structure of the eating plan on Ignite. Can you believe I'm saying that? Me? Structure? I don't know why. I'm pondering it. Anyway, I'm digressing. . ..

I was having a rough week. And I got a text message on Thursday from one of my former students. Now Jamie (leaving out his last name to protect him from being embarrassed) is not just any former student. He is part of a group of 90 students that I taught for two years, part of a class of about 30 that I commonly call my babies. (I do realize that I must stop that soon.) Part of an even smaller group that I call my sons and daughters. Jamie was the original of my children. My son. Added to my nieces and godchildren, the closest thing to a child I have. The change of having him in high school after having seen and talked to him almost daily is one of those changes I don't like! Anyway, he texted Thursday and wanted to meet me at school Friday morning to visit. Although I had to wake up 30 minutes earlier--uuugg--I told him I'd be there. We were able to visit and catch up for about 45 minutes before he had to leave to go to school. We talked about grades, how my other "babies" were doing, and caught up with each other. He looked and sounded so grown up. But he pulled outsome homework that he didn't finish the night before, and I knew that he was the same Jamie I knew. Those 45 minutes did more to lift my spirits and bring me back to stasis than the greasy, self-indulgent spree of the previous weekend. 

All of that to illustrate to you to never doubt that you matter. You never know whose morning, day, week you might make with a blog, a text, a visit, a hug, a smile. You, my readers and friends, matter to me. Thanks for reading and commenting.

And I hope that even when I'm a bit negative or digress a bit, my blog, my words, my-self matter to you!

I'm discovering on this path to wellness that wellness is more than just being physically healthy. It's mental, emotional, spiritual, as well. The true path to wellness is holistic. And I'll be exploring that in the upcoming days.