Chicken Debb, Chicken Debb. . .

. . . A woo hoo if you can tell me the song reference!

After Day-5, down 5.3. Can I get a woop woop?!?!

OK--I've embraced the fact that I love chicken. This fact hit me on Thursday when I had the baked chicken at school and really really wanted more. And I started thinking chicken. . . hmmmm. . . .chicken. So I cooked it last night and tonight, flipped through my pictures and found a yummy recipe I made about two weeks ago. So I figured I do and CHICKEN EDITION!! Yay!! Let's move on, shall we?

First of all. I'm a flinger. I come from a long line of flingers. (Ok, maybe just my mom.) What is a flinger, you ask? A flinger is someone who does not have a problem to fling some chicken in a pan to cook it for the night's dinner. The rest of my family groans when Mom says she's going to fling chicken. It's not their favorite. Afterall, it isn't all that excited. You put chicken in a pan with some seasoning, spices, herbs, etc. I think she does it sometimes so they'll offer to go pick something up, so she doesn't have to cook. And in their defense, sometimes Mom's flung chicken is a bit dry. Sorry Mom, but you try! (Mom can make some mean tacos, though. See an earlier post from January 2013.) Before you fuss at me, Mom will enjoy this blog in the spirit in which it was written.

So, I offer to you--Debb's Flung Chicken

Before I start, I will admit that I rarely measure anything. Because it's just me, I dump, pour and sprinkle.

This was so simple. I diced about a pound and a quarter of chicken breast tenderloin. While I was dicing, I was heating up about a tablespoon of EVOO in a wok-pan. I sprinkled Mrs. Dash Chicken Blend on the chicken while it was still on the cutting board. I thinly covered it with the spice mix. Then I turned it over and sprinkled more. I tossed the pieces around for distribution. Next, I placed them in the pan to brown on one side. While that side was browning, I covered the topside with chili powder. I gave the chicken a few minutes to cook, and then I flung it around. I used more chili powder--a good cover on the top--and continued flinging. After about 7-10 minutes of cooking and flinging, the chicken was finished. For you Xyngers out there, I sprinkled Cheat on the chicken and tossed it around. It was delicious and easy. You should try it!

Next--Healthier Chicken Satay

This one, I started with a recipe, but altered it. I got the original recipe from food.com, and will share it here. Then I will explain how I altered.

• 1 cup onion, finely chopped
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 1/4 cup soy sauce, low sodium
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1/3 cup PB2 powdered peanut butter
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne
• 1 teaspoon coriander
• 1 lb boneless skinless chicken
• 2 cups cooked brown rice

Directions:

1. Blend all ingredients except chicken in a food processor until smooth
2. Heat 2 tsp olive oil over medium high heat in a large skillet or stir fry pan. Add chicken and stir fry until browned on all sides and cooked most of the through
3. Add blended sauce to pan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer until sauce is reduced and thickened and the chicken is cooked through
4. Serve chicken and sauce over rice

My alterations:
I didn't process the onions with the sauce because I forgot to. I left them big and cooked them with the chicken a bit because I wasn't eating rice. It kind of gave more substance. I used garlic powder, instead of crushed cloves because I was out. It was fine, but I like fresh and will use it next time. I used 1 oz. of soy sauce and 1 oz. of water to cut the salt down further. Next time I will use Tamari because it's yummier. I used all of the EVOO in the sauce, but will cut back on it next time. If you see on the pic, there was some oil floating on the top, and I don't like that. I used 1/2 packet of Truvia instead of brown sugar and about 1/4 cup of lemon juice. I didn't have cayenne, so I used chili powder. Cayenne would've given it a little more heat, so if you don't like heat, use the chili powder. I accidentally used too much coriander, but it didn't ruin it.

Other than the changes I mentioned above, next time I will use scallions in the chicken and scallion tops sprinkled on top. I might also use some chopped peanuts on the top. As I cannot even cook Minute Rice correctly, I will buy the frozen Minute Brown Rice. So easy! And the PB2? I love it!

Mexican Chicken Roll-Ups

This is based on a recipe I saw somewhere, but can't remember right now. When I do, I'll credit it!

• Boil 1 1/2 pounds of chicken, seasoned with Mrs. Dash chicken spice and lime juice until cooked and tender to shred with a fork.
• While chicken is cooking blend an 8 oz block of cream cheese with a can of Rotel tomatoes and chilis and a splash of lime.
• In a food processor mince green peppers, onion, and a can of pitted black olives.
• When chicken is shredded, mix a packet of taco seasoning according to directions. Simmer until the water is cooked off.

Next is the assembly

• Lay out on a flat surface a Flat-Out whole wheat wrap.
• Spread a thin layer of the cream cheese mixture on the wrap, leaving about an inch on one end. (When you roll it, it will squish to the end.)
• Spread 1/6 of the chicken mixture next, again leaving 1 inch at the end.
• Sprinkle cheese of choice next. (optional)
• Sprinkle some of the green pepper-onion-olive mixture. (optional) Save 2 tbsp aside.
• Then roll the wrap, making sure that the end without the cheese/chicken/etc. is the last part to roll.

Guacamole Dip

When I make regular guacamole, I leave the avocados and other veggies in larger pieces. For this I wanted it smooth.

• Combine in a food processor
• 1 avocado
• 2 tbs light sour cream
• 1 tsp of lime juice
• 2 tbsp of green pepper-onion-olive mixture from roll-up.
• Mix in the processor until smooth.
• Serve along side of the roll-up for dipping.

I sure am glad I wrote this post after I ate supper because I'd be hungry for sure! Please let me know if you have questions. Happy flinging!

Patience, Passion. . .

. . . and perseverance

Down 5 pounds woohoo! Glad to be back on the plan. I'll keep you posted.

I'm going to be brief tonight. I've been reading a lot of self-development (different from self-help) books, listening to podcasts, and dialing in to listen in to business calls. See, I've still been struggling on the business end. I love what the products do for my body! The business is not moving like I'd like. I've realized, though, that I truly am an immediate gratification person. I think about my use of technology. I love finding new apps for the phone and iPad, but as soon as I find a new one that I like, I think of a couple of things that I'd like it to do that would make things faster, easier, and flow better. I'm afraid I am one of those people. (shaking my head at myself)

As I've been reading and studying and listening, I notice common themes arising. (True, I'm good at this; I used to teach English, it is what English teachers live for--themes.)

Patience--Yep. The P-Word. Lord, grant me patience and grant it now! I am fortunate to have mentors in the Xyngular company who have had wonderful success, some who have had phenomenal, meteoric-rising success. And that makes me think I need to do the same thing. I am patient with my people. I am not patient with myself. AT ALL! I have an inner critic and a pusher that expects me to do the best and be at the top. And I give myself hell when it does not occur. I've got to be more patient with me. I had what my friend, Liz, and I call a "mental untidy" about this earlier this week. A true meltdown, complete with self-blame and flogging.I try as hard as I can to act with compassion, grace, and patience with everyone else. I need to start with me, now.

Passion--I've got that. From head to toe. I am as passionate about these products, well, not really the products, but the benefits the products have, as I am about the theatre, young adult literature, Netflix original series, and eating almonds. It's the showing the passion that I guess I'm not as good at. I have the ultimate belief in these products, and I want to share it with everyone, especially people who are struggling with low energy, their weight, aches and pains, etc. I just don't want to bother them, annoy them, or "put them out." I am the same way with friends that have recently gotten married or had a child. I never want to bother them at a time when they could be having family time, quiet time, or are actually sleeping, so I don't call, don't visit, etc. The friendship sometimes dies off. It's kind of sad.

Perseverance--I'm working on this. Friends, colleagues, family say that I have remarkable perseverance. I, on the other hand, think I give up on everything too easily. (I probably keep a lot of things in my head before I give up on them. That's why no one knows how much I give up.) I listened to a wonderful call tonight and the speaker was steady at a level without moving for a year. And he didn't give up. Now, I've set goals to move up four levels by December of this year. I hate not accomplishing goals that I set. When I get knocked down, it sometimes takes me a long time to get back up. I tend to wallow in self-pity, etc. I don't bounce back. I need to work on this. I need to persevere more, to "weather the storms," and all of the other cliches and sayings. It is hard. This will be something I work on for a long time. It may even take longer than it does to reach my fitness goal.

But in the end, I know it will be worth it.

Getting back. . .

. . . into the swing of things.

It's  been awhile since I did this, but in 24 hours I lost 2 pounds! Let me say it again, or shout it, you use your imagination, "This stuff is wonderful!!"

The past two weeks, after I declared my little experiment over, I continued to eat--as I said on one of the Facebook boards--like a teenage boy with no supervision. And it was weird. I didn't like. I felt guilty. I felt bloated. I felt greasy. And when it was time for a meal and the thought of food repulsed me, I went for Menchie's frozen yogurt. Yes, that is food. And the types I would get were not that bad and the almonds I sprinkled on top are good. Then there was the cheesecake bits, brownie bits, maraschino cherries, whipped cream, hot caramel. They were not the best choices. (And I didn't eat them all at once, but it doesn't sound that bad, hahaha!)

So I hopped on an 8 day, as we call it. I have begun faithfully taking my supplements (except the one I forgot at home this morning, but I took it when as soon as I got home at 6 tonight). So, if I could generalize all of the data and information I gathered from my experimentation this summer, it'd be this: eat healthy! That's it. Good, whole foods. Non-processed. The outside perimeter of the grocery store, except for the nuts and frozen veggies. (I don't cook fresh broccoli well.)When I ate healthily, clean, watched my carbs, etc. I maintained. When I ate healthily and took supplements I continued to lose. That is what I recommend.

I know that I will never stop the vitamins. Never stop the Xyng. And never ever stop the Global Juice and Xypstix. What is interesting is these are the health and wellness products, not the weight loss ones. When I do not take them, I do not feel good. My ankle starts to hurt, my knee, my hip--my God, I sound like an old decrepit woman--and then I take my Global Juice or Xypstix. And it clears it up. If I let it go on too long, I do have to take some pain killers, as well as the juice. But once I've stopped hurting, as long as I continue to drink this juice, my pain stays away. Hallelujah!

And other things
I've been trying to find a devotional or Bible study that seems to fit where I am right now. I'm having no luck. Remember the Path to Wellness is more than just physical. I haven't had any luck, so I've started reading the Bible chronologically. (I'm already behind.) I don't know, I keep searching for a verse that hits me. That is like a supernatural message. No such luck. I do consider myself very open to these things.

And exercise. I've started slow. I walk the dogs for 15-20 minutes twice a day. I was going to add a small routine that I've found on Pinterest. However, when I started to do the 50 jumping jacks, I notice too much wiggling, jiggling, and bouncing, and then I started thinking, "What if doing these jumping jacks makes my skin stretch?" (I was in an odd state yesterday.) So, I think I'm going to begin tomorrow doing some planks, stretches and yoga poses after walking the doggies. I do need to do more to start toning. But I'll get to that later, I guess.

And so my journey continues. . . .

A Day of Firsts. . .

. . . and hopefully not the last.

I'm not sure that made sense; it did when I typed it, LOL.

First day of the 2013-2014 school year. It was a great day. It was great to see all of the students I knew and to meet some new ones. I would say that at least 95% of my students were excited about being in my class. With middle school students, that is definitely a celebration!

First day behaving like a "real adult." I was up at 5:45, walked the dogs for 15 minutes, did self-development reading, updated my to-do, made my shake, went grocery shopping, oh and showered somewhere in there, too. All before 7:30. I'm trying to start the day off positively, rather than hitting snooze several times and rushing to get to school on time.

First day on an 8-Day Ignite cycle. It is time to detox and undo all the things that I've done to my body the past several weeks. Like I said in an earlier post, I did a lot of it for data collection to help people out. Of course hindsight, maybe I should've let someone else experiment that doesn't have quite so much to lose in the the first place. But, can't change it now, so I'm starting fresh and am loving it! I love my Lean shakes. I make 'em frothy with crushed ice at home. At school, I just shake it up and drink it down. I haven't been taking most of the supplements for 2 months, and cannot wait to see the wonderful results I have at the end of these 8 days! And, if you've been following me for awhile, you know I will share 'em with you, for better or worse. But I know it will be for better!

Finally, it's also my first day working from a list. The problem with this is I do not handle not completing the list well. Well, it's ten after nine, and I've got 20 more things on my list. I'm trying to rectify that I won't always accomplish everything on the list, but I have it to work toward. This will be the hardest thing for me to keep up with on the list of "firsts." I'll let you know how it goes. (Motivation and support would be helpful, LOL! Just Kidding!)

I must go for now. If I'm going to get in 8 hours of sleep, I should've been in bed fifteen minutes ago. Oh well, I'm a work in progress!

Turning Over a New Leaf. . .

. . . Again

A recurring theme in my posts seems to be changing. Changing my life, thoughts, attitude, etc. It probably will be fore a time. I've decided that there needs to be changes, and "poof" I'm doing it.

This change, is changing how people respond to me. I do realize that that change, in part, must be made by the other parties. And I know you can't change other people. However, I can precipitate that change by changes in my habits.

I have had a wonderful week back at school with my colleagues. But there are couple of things that are just sticking in my "craw." I am typically a highly collaborative teacher. I love exchanging ideas with other teachers and bouncing ideas around. In one of my meetings, which should have been collaborative, not only was there no collaboration, but my comments and ideas were met with blank stares. And when actually discussed a combines event, the conversation shut down when a teacher said she'd "chew on it" and let us know. I kept calm, an with only a slight tremor in my voice, let her know that we were not putting anything off on her. Anyway, you don't care about all of that, and it may seem a bit petty.

Then in other areas, I've noticed a trend lately of non committal, my ideas or comments being me with blank stares, and to put it as delicately as I can, it pisses me off. Previously, I've smiled and joked about getting a date mixed up, forgetting my keys, not understanding something. However, I think I have perpetuated the seeming thought that I am flighty, don't have it "going on," am not professional. That is going to change. I am going to change.

This is hard because conflicts may arise, and I HATE conflicts. I must be prepared for that. As I am changing my appearance, my weight, my inner thoughts, I am also going to change my professional "stature." When I taught English, I was a force to be reckoned with. I will be the same as I teach drama, and as I continue working so my Xyngular business can grow, too.

My new leaf--
I will speak up.
I will confront things head on
I will always be on time
I will strive to ensure things are organized
I will ask for help when I need it, and for clarification when it is needed, as well
I will not allow others to waste my time

I will reflect on these goals, just as my others.

Idiom Focus
* To turn over a new leaf--In the 16th century, people referred to book pages as leaves. It has become an idiom that means to start over. Turning over a new page to begin afresh.

*Craw--basically the throat of the bird. If something "sticks in your craw," it is something you cannot swallow, it sticks in your throat.

Results--After a short video

An Aside--Had dinner tonight with a former student. Was so fun and relaxing. I treasure those times with my adopted children! It was nice after working registration at school all day! Little things like are moments to treasure.

I promised last night that I would post results from the different "experiments" I did this summer. (I started the last week of May.) I was going to do charts and graphs and make it all colorful, and maybe I will later. For now, I'll just report.

• 2 weeks supplements only--No weight gain
• 2 weeks taking supplements "when I remembered," eating like I used to--10 pound gain
• 8 Day Ignite Cycle--14 pound loss! :)
• 2 weeks eating healthily (eating right!), no supplement--No weight gain
• 2 weeks, no supplements, eating crazy, but not 5 times a day--6 pound weight gain.

So, synopsis--The supplements work! Eating healthy works! Eating bad, doesn't work! (And it makes me feel yucky!) And I'm pretty much where I was the last time I reported. I'm glad I played around with things, so when people ask, I can report based on my findings.

There will come a time when I am maintaining at the weight/size where I want to be. Then, I will not need all of the supplements all of the time. Many of my friends doing the program pick and choose the supplements they want to take regularly and the ones they only use when the do an 8-Day Cycle, etc. (I won't go into all of it.)

However--I know that I will now and forever use Xyng for energy; Global Blend for antioxidants and super fruit goodness; Xypstix for inflammation and also antioxidant and super fruit goodness; and Axion, our multi-vitamin/multi-nutrient that just makes me feel wonderful. These are the wellness products, and I would recommend them to everyone (after they check for allergies, etc.).

I'm ready to get back on the program because I feel so much better when I eat healthily. All the experts aren't lying! :) 

I made this. . .

. . . for you!
This is a play on a Julian Smith video from YouTube, called  "Hot Koolaid." (You must remember that I teach middle school, therefore I often like things that "normal" adults would think are silly, childish, or stupid.) You may watch if you wish!

Anyway, I've been thinking about the past 2 months and the weight-loss experimenting I've been doing. And what came to mind was, "I did this for you!" in the voice of Julian Smith above. (The pop culture tangents my mind goes on are varied and wide!)

When I began my Xyngular journey, I had, and still have, overwhelming support. There were, however, some detractors and nay-sayers. And I didn't let that bother me, not really because I know what I am doing really works. Just ask me, I'll tell ya! But for those of you who don't know me well, or who have forgotten this about me, you know that not only do I think I'm right, but I know I'm right, and I like to prove I'm right. I set about this summer while I was vacationing and living life without structure to do a little experimenting to prove that I'm right about these Xyngular products.

So, here is what I did. I took the products and ate poorly. I didn't take the products and ate healthily, like we're all supposed to and like my body craves. And I didn't take the products and ate poorly, the way I was eating before I began the Xyngular Ignite System in December. And I'm pleased with the results!

And I will share them tomorrow night! Night all! :)

Feeling a bit under the weather. . .

. . . but going to do a quick post any way.

I need to go to bed. I have a full day of registration at school tomorrow. 6th graders. They are soooo little when they come in. I kind of want to squish them. But I don't tell them that. Hahaha. I'm more of an older kid teacher. I love 7th graders because they all have lost their minds due to hormones. And they pretty much get their minds back once they are 8th graders (only to lose it again in 9th grade). I do love 8th graders the most. However, my 6th graders last year grew on me. They were so eager to please and would do whatever silly dramatic game I came up with. Their creativity was not stifled yet by peer pressure or the message to "grow up." So the urge to squish grew slight by the end of the year. I cannot wait to see them, now that they are 7th graders. As a non-parent child nurtured, seeing the students develop throughout their 3 years of middle school will be one of the best things about teaching an exploratory class, rather than a core subject.

Don't tell my colleagues, but I get excited for school to start. Don't get me wrong, I was counting down the days in May and early June. But after vacations and down time, a business trip and some professional development, I'm ready for a new start. Each new class each new year gives me the chance to do things better than I did the previous year. I can teach a little better, grow a little more, practice a little more patience, and reach a whole new set of students. And though hours are spent in "nuts and bolts" meetings, and assessment planning, etc., it doesn't diminish the excitement that comes with the first day of school. And even though I had 2 in early June, I am expecting to have at least 2 more "back to school, I'm not ready, I missed the first day, I'm in the wrong room, the kids hate me" dreams. Those little bonuses my subconscious gifts me with to let me know that I have more anxiety than what I'm feeling already.

And let's face it. I'm no good at putting myself in schedule. Case in point, it is 1:00 a.m. August 5, and I'm writing August 4's post. Going back to school forces me into a schedule. And it will take a little bit to get used to. But I find I don't forget to eat during the school day. I use my time off more wisely. And I rarely stay up past 12, and in fact try to get to bed at 10, so I can get 8 hours of sleep in.

So, you won't find me mourning the passing of summer on FB, unless I'm playing around or grouchy because I have to get out of bed before noon.  It's a new start. A new year. With some new and some old students. I await it with smiles, a little anxiety, and extreme hope to make a difference in lives this year.

(I hope I was not too incoherent because this medicine is kicking my behind!) Goodnight, friends!

A Continuation of Yesterday's Post. . .

. . . Sort of. . . .

It was an interesting afternoon today. Friends and I, fellow Xyngular independent distributors, set out to break the confines of our comfort zone. It was actually an interesting thing. Across the US and Puerto Rico today, during the same three hours, distributors went into malls, stores, strip malls, etc. to tell people about what we have found in Xyngular, to introduce them, to educate them a little bit.

This is a frightening thing. Going up to perfect strangers and asking to tell them about something wonderful. Now just reading that, it does not sound daunting. I mean, who wouldn't want to hear about something wonderful, even if it were from perfect strangers. It was frightening, though. As my friends and I discussed it over lunch, each of us, at one time or another, expressed that we were fearful or anxious about our day's plan. This started me thinking. (Oh no, right? All of this is absolutely wrapped up in the dreams post from last night.) I started wondering about fear. How is it that we acquire our fears? Where in the evolution of the human experience, mind, spirit did fear grab such a hold of us? I'm not talking fight or flight kind of fear. I'm talking fear of failure. Fear of looking silly. Fear of what Sally-Bobby-Billy-Sue will think of us.

"Fear is static that keeps me from hearing myself."
 --Samuel Butler

Do you know how much static that is fear fills my head every day? A LOT! Better yet, do you know how much of your head is filled with that static? We've all heard static from radios before. Every now and then it seems as if a station is coming in clearly. I can even make out a couple of words, and I think it will make sense. And then I lose it again. And it is unintelligible again. And that's how it is with fear. It kind of bubbles around in my head. And when I think I can understand and name it, it goes out of focus again and eludes me.

A certain amount of fear if helpful, and keeps us safe. But if we aren't careful, if I'm not careful, fear can cause paralysis, resulting in inaction. So how do we conquer these fears? I don't have the answer. I'm really asking here.

Part of our exercise today to was about stepping out of our comfort zone and facing those fears. It can be quite a rush to do this. It was. As I talked to people in the food court of the mall, telling them briefly about my success, what Xyngular has done for me, what it can do for them, I grew bolder and bolder with each smile from a stranger, each nod, each expression of gratitude. Now, I did not run into anyone that said no, or did not want to hear. I did have to hear from an irate woman in the parking lot about an $1800 paint and how important that was to her. And I faced her and smiled and thanked her. (Then I kind of threw up in my mouth a little, hahaha.) I hate it when people, even strangers, are angry at me.

I am proud of our little group four today. We did fight our fears. Do some still exist surrounding this venue? Heck yeah. But if we keep fighting the static, or better yet focus on and tune in to that static to truly understand it, the fears that are irrational, or the ones that are not serving a purpose to help us survive will eventually silenced.

So I don't have any answers. Only experiences and thoughts, and the hope that maybe we can understand that we're not alone in all of this.

To Dream. . . .

. . . the Impossible Dream

I think my mom has always liked that song. Every now and then as I was growing up I can remember her bursting into snippets of it. She had to be in a silly mood because, as she will tell you, she does not have the best singing voice. In college I often sang several measures for auditions for the theatre. In hindsight, it's no wonder I got no summer stock work at those auditions.

I wonder at what point in our growing up that dreams become impossible? Is it when all of a sudden we must place reality over them? I do not keep it a secret that I like awards. Trophies, plaques, certificates, pins, titles--any bling of external validation, I love! It wasn't even high school. It was college and a few years beyond that I had the dream of receiving an Oscar, or Golden Globe, or Emmy. I even had my designer picked out--Vera Wang. (Back in the 90s, there was a lot of Vera Wang, but I don't hear much now. And there was another designer, one with a little more edge that I used to like. A one-word designer. And now I can't remember, but it will come to me in the middle of sleep sometime.) Anyway, dreams dreams. That's what I was talking about. Those dreams were so vivid. I knew my dress would be deep purple--not the group--and that I'd take my mom or my friend, David. I could imagine walking down the red carpet, where we'd sit, how I would look surprised when the nominees were announced, and that I would try not to seem too happy when I won. I even had my acceptance speech almost memorized. I still remember parts of it. Dreams, and I could make them real.

So, I've been doing a lot of self-work lately. (You know, I've shared some with you.) I've been making a list of things that I want to include on my Dream Board. And for someone who used to fight over imaginary candy with her sister, and who really imagines that her classroom is a kingdom and she is the queen, this dream board is awfully hard. I've never been a planner. Sometimes that bothers me, other times I'm perfectly ok with it.

As I'm working on this dream board, I'm finding that it is had to actually dream. I don't know if I have let reality take such a firm hold in my mind, that it is hard to imagine. Or it could be that I've grabbed on to the indoctrination that it is selfish and greedy to wish/want/hope for more than I have because I should be thankful for what I have. Even as I am thinking about a house, dreaming about a house that would be mine, I keep it conservative, coming in between $150 and $180,000. There's no use for those dreams to get too big.

Then I stop. I get aggravated with myself. I am extremely thankful for what I have, what I've been able to do, my job, etc. Why is it so very hard to dream for more? To be teacher of the year? To pay off student loan debts? To go to Puerto Rico every year? To have a condo at the beach? To see all of the permanent Cirque du Soleil wherever they may be? (Those last three were a huge breakthrough, I'll tell you.) And I can say them, but visualizing them coming true is very hard. Where is the girl that pictured walking up on stage accepting the award?

I need to keep working on it. Kind of a paradox--to work toward dreaming. Hmmmm. I'll keep you posted. I really want my dream board to be completed before the school year begins, so that means the next two weeks. And I urge all of you to stop and think about your dreams. Some of you have dreams that are coming true right now. But that doesn't mean stop. And there's help out there. There may even be a star right outside your window that will capture you imagination, make the dreams seem not so impossible.

Wait. What's that? Oh. . . .

The sky is not falling.

Yes, friends of Chicken Little or Henny Penny, the sky is definitely not falling. It was only an acorn.

(Raising my right hand) I, Debb Adams, do have Chicken Little tendencies. It seems to tick off the best of my friends and provides plenty of material for therapy sessions. I can no longer deny it.

Here's a list of my top thoughts:

1. A lesson or class period does not go well. Thought: This semester will suck. I'll start off better next year.
2. I break down and have a milkshake. Thought: Crap, I'm going to gain all 50 pounds that I lost.
3. I did not make the 200 points that I needed today to keep on track for the rank I am shooting for. Thought: I can't do this. I suck.
4. I make a mistake subtracting while working on my bank account. Thought: I will forever be broke. How could I do something so stupid?
5. I forget to blog. Thought: I cannot keep up with anything. Why do I try?

I realize that I am so much harder on myself than I am on anyone else. I also realize that a lot of people are like that. I have not cornered the market on self negativism. Therefore I will not wallow in the knowledge that this is one of my less desirable traits. The best thing to do is to realize it and try to fix it. I know most of it comes that part of me that is the critic and the perfectionist. There are probably other selves tied up in there, too.

I don't know what it is in the make up of some of us that assumes when one thing is not going the right way the rest of the world will come falling down around our head, especially when time has proven that it won't fall. 

So, as the sun sets (Well, it set about 5 hours ago, but go with me.) on the first day of the month, let's keep striving for those goals, do what we need to do to reach them, and not worry if we're off the first day. And, when in doubt, cover ourselves in affirmations and support from friends. Then when we feel pieces of the sky falling around us, we'll have a little bit of protection.

(And yes, I was talking to myself, as well!)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes. . . .

Turn and face the stranger. . . . 

There, now everyone should have David Bowie singing in your head now. Pause for a second. I haven't listened to Bowie in yeeeears.

Ok, I'm back.

Yeah, guys, change is hard--even if you are someone that doesn't mind change. (Which, I am finding that that is not me!)

A friend of mine, learned from her friend, who will be mentoring me in the Xyngular business that "90 days can change your life!" Anyone who wants to make some improvements or positive changes in his/her life will think that sounds amazing. I agree. I also think it is frightening as hell! You know my tendency to over think things:
What if my life is exactly the way God wants it to be?
What if the changes I make are the wrong ones?
What if it works for everyone else, but not me?
What if I make the changes and find that I am not as happy?
What if. . .
What if. . .
What if. . .

Yesterday, I thought, no, I knew I could do whatever I dreamed. Whatever I set my sight on. Whatever I planned to do.

Today, not so much. In less than 24 hours, I talked myself out of all of the courage, optimism, positivity, and moxie that I wore like a badge yesterday. What a roller coaster!

I wonder what it is in the psyche of some of us that makes us sabotage ourselves. Yesterday I was going to knock over any obstacle that stood in my way. Today I am shattered by self doubt, self consciousness, and the blahhhhhs. (Good gracious, my therapist will ear her fee tomorrow!)

I know that I am not the only one that experiences this. I may be one of the only ones that is openly sharing it in such a forum. But, it will give you something else to watch in me. Some of you have signed on to watch me lose weight. Some to see how I can build a thriving business. Some because every now and then I bury of comedy in the lines of the post. Now, some of you can watch as I work on myself and my self confidence, awareness, etc.

So, it seems my blog is a one stop shop for some of you! I hope everyone has a great night!

Dropping habits. . . .

. . . .is easier than kicking them!

90 days can change my life. 90 days can change my life. That will be my mantra for the next 90 days. And, gentle readers (haha--the only time I channel Miss Manners), I need to make a change. But, is that not a big part of changing--realizing I need and being willing to change? So, to quote many sitcoms and memes on Facebook, I'm going to pull up my big girl panties and get to changing.

Change 1--get back into the blogosphere! Boy, when I allowed myself to go from posting every day, to posting on specific days, to posting when there was something major to post, I fell off into nothing-ness. So, I declare, I am going to begin posting daily again, even if it's a little post.

And the videos? Where did they go? I haven't made more, but more are coming. To help my teammates on their 8-Day Ignite Cycles, I plan to video myself taking supplements, fixing meals/snacks/shakes, for the cycle. It'll be fun. And it means I'll be wearing make-up 8 days in a row.

Exercise--yoga yoga yoga--so beneficial for the mind, body, and spirit. I need to add more, though. Weekly yoga, and the exercise suggested by our Product Development Manager, whom I will be working with closely to shrink this belly.

So habits, dropped too easily, picked back up, other habits to cultivate.

And the business. It is time for me to think of myself as a business woman, to stop apologizing for it, and to think positively about it. It is time to break from that comfort of the laptop and iPad and talk to more people face-to-face. Peter Griscom, our Product Development Manager has a goal to change 1,000,000 lives. It's time for me to do my part in helping him reach his goal. I feel so much better, and I want everyone to feel the way I do.

However, I've been experimenting this summer. I've gone without supplements some weeks, while eating healthy. I've taken supplements and ate crazily. I've gone without supplements and have eaten crazily. All of this to see what results I would get, so I can discuss with facts and stats when people have questions. An unexpected outcome of this is the ankle pain that had cleared up has come back. So, I'll call the doctor to take care of it, and never go without my Global Juice and Xypstix again. (Probably not a great idea to experiment, but I've learned my lesson. After all, Global Juice is a wellness product, not a weight loss product. OK, so I didn't think everything out all the way.)

So, faithful readers--hold me accountable! Special shout out to Kelly who asked if I had written any posts lately. It was the nudge I needed. Thanks, Kell!

This will not just be. . . .

. . . . something I try for awhile and give up!

Do y'all remember when I first started this blog? Every day. Every single day for a couple of months I posted. Some were really well-written, quality posts, and some, well, some just sucked. But I made the effort. And life happened, and the posts went to a couple a week, once a week, and then stopped. It doesn't mean I quit thinking about my blog and what I'd share with you. Well, it's time to pick it up again.

I still plan to be absolutely truthful--remember full disclosure--with regard to the journey I am on, the paths I'm taking the smooth ways and rocky paths. That remains true. Though I haven't been writing, I have not stopped working on myself. I plan to share, not only the weight loss and health and wellness journey, but other parts of the journey, too. I've recently begun practicing yoga; I'm learning about myself with regard to habits, goal setting, and what I need to do to be a more successful me. I'm sad to report that the business-end of my Xyngular journey has not taken off yet as I wanted it to. I'm not quitting. I'm not expecting overnight success. I did expect to be further along. Much of the study and work I am doing on myself will help me my business endeavors.

I've got about a month left before I go back to school, and believe it or not, the structure of being back may be good for me. Yes, I, who hate being structured and routinized, am admitting the structure will be good for me.

So, to end for the night, I'm just going to list some of the things running through my head. Some may become future posts. Some may make you laugh. All have come straight from my mind, uncensored--I've bound and gagged my inner critic for the next ten minutes. Here goes:

1. I can't believe that after a 16 day vacation and returning to do an 8-day, I lost all 10 pounds, plus 2 more.
2. If you put a bag of Doritos in front of me, I will eat them, and eat them, and eat them. . . .
3. I worry when I talk to people about Xyngular that they will think I'm preying on them.
4. I'm consciously working on #3.
5. People have countered that once on Xyngular, they are afraid they will not be able to maintain and will have to be on it the rest of their lives. I'm experimenting to prove them wrong.
6. Although I am doing #5, I am no in no way ready to maintain. 
7. After yoga my hamstrings kill me in such a good way that I can't wait to do it again. Also, more than my body feels good after yoga.
8. Why aren't more people doing yoga?
9. Last yoga one, I promise: One of my goals is to do aerial/swing yoga at the studio where I go. It looks like so much fun. (Pink Lotus Yoga Center rocks!)
10. I don't feel as good when I'm not taking my supplements. It is more than weight loss!! I promise. :)
11. I am tired of renting; I want a house. My goal is the end of May when my lease runs out.
12. I MUST create my dream-board this week. I can't decide if I want to do it digitally or actually cut pictures, letters, etc. out of magazines--you know, old school collage.
13. I'm very excited and nervous to go to Vegas for Xyngfest in a couple of weeks.
14. I need to read some books on directing plays before I go back to school.
15. Sometimes I feel like I'm proverbially "spinning my wheels."
16. I think this enough for one night.
17. I leave you with a video from Puerto Rico. Why it is called Crash Boat Beach--I loved to watch this! 

OK, so it may not be any wow factor! I love it! :)

Well, y'all. . . .

. . . . I'm glad I'm not paid to be a blogger 

Every day I thought, "I need to blog." "This will be great to blog about." "I have got to write about this." And every night, I've been so tired or relaxed, and maybe even a little "tipsy" that I haven't blogged. EPIC FAIL!--as my students would say.

We've got two days to go on our Puerto Rican vacation, and I can't believe it's almost over. Friday and Saturday of this week we met with Sydney Grace's immersion teacher and her family, and we were treated to the real Puerto Rico--views of the Caribbean Sea from the mountain tops, and trek through the rainforest, and places we would not even be able or brave enough to find on our own. I've got to tell you about that later because I'm keeping this short. We have driven all over this island, several times. We've tasted authentic cuisine, and I even sampled blood sausage. (It really didn't taste that bad, until people kept saying "Blood sausage." It's a mind thing; even now, I'm getting a bit queasy thinking about it.) I've developed a taste for Medalla, beer brewed right here, and Gasolina--we'll just say adult Capri Suns found at supermarkets and convenience stores.

I knew our vacation would be great, but I didn't know I would fall in love with the island or the people. It makes me yearn to learn Spanish to help me on our next trip. And going on my dream board is a house in Puerto Rico with a banana and a mango tree in the yard. No lie!

I'll leave you tonight with several pictures and the promise to share more of our excursions later.

 

Well it's about damn time. . . .

Good morning, readers and friends, from Aguadilla, Puerto Rico! It is a sunny Saturday here, and we're relaxing in the condo while Julie is frying up some bacon for breakfast. I was reading back over my posts last night and realized that it has been almost a month since I posted! HOLY MOLY!! I must get on the ball, and you, gentle readers, feel free to hold me accountable.

Since my last post, three major events have occurred: I hit my 50 pounds lost goal--a month early!--school ended, and my "bffs" and I made our way to Puerto Rico for 16 glorious days of vacation.

FIFTY POUNDS, BABY!! 
That is right. On June 1st, I hit my first major goal of losing 50 pounds, and add to that 59.5 inches. Wow! It feels phenomenal. It is all about getting healthy, and for me getting healthy means to drop a significant amount of weight, toning up, and continuing to feel good. I will share with you all now my final goal because I feel is the right time to do so. My goal is to lose 150 pounds total or to fit comfortably in a size 8. Depending on my frame of mind, it seems so far away. However, when I weighed my suitcase for the trip, and it was 37 pounds, and it was a beast to pick, the thought that I lost 37 plus more hit home. It's all about perspective. And daily, I must work to keep the perspective positive. Some days it's a breeze, and some days it is more work than sticking to the program.

This just in---Scooter has come home!!! Just had to share.


End of year
My first year of teaching drama, known here after as Theatre Arts--and, yes, spelled the French way because I am just that pretentious! :) It was a successful year. A year to test the waters of middle school theatre life. A time to gather interest in rebuilding a dying program. We had two successful mainstage productions, and two showcases that can only improve. There were great performances, but the attendance was poor. Next year we will add publicity and public relations to our list of areas to improve upon. In addition, a group of teachers and I are working on a grant incorporating the arts, positive behavioral support, character traits from our school counselling program, special needs classes, and 7th grade social studies. It is a monster of a grant and will be awesome if--no when--we get it. More reflection on the year at a later date.

VACATION
On June 10, my friends and I embarked on our first trip to Puerto Rico. It's Saturday, June 15, and we've been here almost a week, and I can say honestly that it is one of my most favorite spots of the places I've been. Beautiful beaches, interesting architecture, friendly friendly people, varying landscape. The eclectic culture of the Puerto Rican mixing with what is essentially mainland American is interesting to experience. My lack of knowledge of the Spanish language is a definite barrier, but the people happily indulge my attempts to communicate in Spanish with smiles. Many are bi-lingual, which I am coming to mourn the fact that I am not more and more. Although, I am finding my study of Latin and French are coming in handy. (Those Romance Language cognates do make a difference!) And kudos goes to Lexington School District One. Libby and Sydney Grace are currently in the Spanish immersion program, and Drew has taken Spanish as a class since 4th grade. (He just finished his sophomore year.) It is wonderful to listen to them speak with no trouble. Libby is remarkable; after being in the immersion program for 7 years--Kindergarten through sixth grade--she speaks with incredible, with the beautiful lilting accent. You'd think she was a native speaker!

More, much more, later! Here are some pictures to hold you over to my next post. . . .

 

 (I love water; therefore, most of my pictures will be of water. Thank my mom for that. It's something we have in common!)

Roller Coaster. . .

. . . Ooo, ooo, ooooo

I was trying to sing that song. Are you now singing it in your head? What is it called when a song gets stuck in your head? There's a term for it. BRB--I'll look it up. EARWORM! It's not as cool as I had built it up in my head. But there it is. Roller coaster. . . .♫ ♪

It's been a great weekend. Had dinner with some wonderful women I attended the Midlands Writing Project with last summer. Saw three of my favorite girls in their gymnastic recitals on Saturday. Unfortunately, they were all about 2-2 1/2 hours apart, so we wore a trail in the road back and forth. They did great, all three, and I am not at all biased! (Just ask me.)

Today I went "Curvy Yoga" at Lotus Yoga Center, here in Lexington. What a wonderful experience! It's in a place in Lexington called The Old Mill--and it is. I love The Old Mill, and I love the room where Lotus Yoga lays its mat. My first impulse was to do a Vlog there. I don't know if my video would capture it, but it can't hurt to try.

Last night, had a little moment when I was scrolling my Facebook feed. I came across someone's post and there were a couple of awesome names within the post. My first thought, "When I have a baby, if it's a boy, that'd be a cool name for him." And then it hit. I won't have a baby. As I think back, since my surgery in September, I've done that on several occasions with different things; however, this is the first time it hit me, "Duh, that's not going to happen." It was a moment. In the past I talked about adopting a child from the DRC (Congo), or adopting an older child from the US that needed a mom, or even fostering. I've even talked to several people about these ideas and contacted some agencies. What I did not tell anyone (other than Phoebe) was that about a year ago I began looking into in vitro fertilization. Looking back now, I'm glad I didn't tell anyone else because it is no longer an option. (The others are, I know.) I think the full reality of that fact hit me last night. Damn Facebook--see what you did! Hahaha. . . .

Today at yoga, I battled some anxieties about not being able to do it "right." And definitely not as beautifully as the yogi. But Alma and Deb put my mind to rest--and rubbed some lavender on my wrists to help me relax. It was a wonderful experience. But it wasn't until Savasana, the relaxation pose at the end, that I realized how hard it is to shut my mind off and just be. I was thinking of everything from wishing I had taken some Accelerate before I went to the studio, to incorporating some of the poses into our theatre warm-ups, to thinking of what I would blog, to my Xyngular business. I guess that is why when you "do" yoga, it's called "practicing yoga." One of the other wonderful women in attendance suggested that I meditate more often to give my mind some time to relax. That may be a good idea.

Of the many wonderful thoughts I had and lessons I learned during this two hour workshop is how much what we do is connected. In therapy we talked about accepting myself where I am now, and not where I was 10 years ago or where I want to be in 10 years. I've also had similar conversations when I went to Spiritual Direction sessions, with my chiropractor, when I had a physical trainer, even in some writing classes. We talked about that today, as well. The same is true--multi-venue, maybe not all--with relaxing and letting the thoughts drift from my mind and not dwelling on them, and remembering to breathe. (I have a horrible habit of holding my breath in when I'm exercising, etc.) Maybe my life is too compartmentalized? The lesson the Universe wanted me to learn was to bring all aspects of me into all areas of my life? I'll ponder that for awhile.

I'll leave you with one more thought. As Alma--the yogi--was talking about our breathing, something else popped in my head that prompted me to create the following collage:

This week I'm going to mindfully focus on giving back positivity.

Trying something new. . .

. . . and a little scary





How fun was that? Believe me, I am critiquing away. But, I thought it was nice for a change. Maybe not for a steady diet. We'll see. . . .

Milestone
I went swimming today. In the pool at the apartment. For the first time. In almost 2 years of living here. This is huge folks! (This is also why my hair looks slicked back in the video.) I did move into this complex because it has a pool. I moved into this specific apartment unit because it is close to the pool. And until today, I had not even walked up on the pool deck.

I survived! (Obviously, or I'd be a ghost typing this.) It was hard. I did peek out my bedroom window to see how crowded it was. And I was a bit anxious when new people would come. I went swimming, and it was awesome--and still a little cold. (Every time I put my head under, it'd take my breath away.)

What's more is I love to exercise in the pool. I remember some of the stuff Jenn, the Lean Mean Aquafit Queen taught me when I went to the gym and used the pool. I worked out for about 45 minutes, and came home and had a yummy Lean shake. Mmmmmm.....

For you to truly understand how big this is, you need to know this. Back in the fall, I would not even go outside of the apartment if I heard people on the sidewalk on in the "halls." I did not want to be seen--at all. I wouldn't walk the dog. Wouldn't go get the mail. Go to the office. I even wouldn't go get something to eat or go to the grocery store if I heard people out there. Much less appear in front of people in a bathing suit!!

Epiphanies

1. It's been hard to get back on track after about a week of "Pigfest." Today, Day 3, was not hard. I realized that I was detoxing! I think it was not as hard the first time I detoxed because I was carried by the newness and the excitement of the whole Xyngular system. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited, but it was just harder. I'm good now, and ready to tackle the rest of this cycle!
2. Along with starting fresh being hard, I also found that from 4:00-ish through 8:30-ish I've been ravenous. I'm talking eat my fist hungry. Beyond needing a bit of protein hungry. Today, that has not been the case. This may be because of one (or more) of three reasons:
1. I have been detoxing.
2. I have not been busy during those hours until today. Boredom=feigned hunger.
3. I have not been eating enough protein at lunch/snack, etc. 
4. Or a combination of the three.
3. I have not been drinking enough water. I know, I know, I should. Sometimes I just am not that thirsty. Today I am back on track with that, too. (Thanks to my students for helping encourage me!)

OK. Well, that has been a lot for today. I will sign off now. I hope everyone has a good rest of the week! Thanks for watching/reading!

Yes, I hit it. . .

. . . hit the discipline wall

Yes, y'all. Once again I prove that I am not infallible. (Like there was ever really a question, right?) For over 4 months I have been living this new healthier, clean lifestyle. And I've been fairly "braggy braggy" about it, too, if you want to know the truth. After cycle 11, I took longer than 2 days off. And now I am having the devil of a time getting back on the 8 day cycle. Sad me.

On top of that, I realized that I need to work on days off and going completely "hog wild." Emphasis on the word hog. Feeling a bit angry with myself right now. Luckily it is bed time, so soon it will be a new day, a time for me to redeem myself. Hopefully. . . .

So friends, especially those of you that complained that I was making this look easy. I've fallen a bit. It is still easier than anything else I've ever tried. But, like everything else, there will times that I'm sailing along, and times when it feels like I'm fighting for life. Keep me in your thoughts, please. Send me some collective waves of strength. This is just a speed bump, or speed mountain (if I'm in the WKHS parking lot), I know that. I still need some positive vibes sent my way, and maybe my friend Leah to leave her baby with her husband for a few days, so she can be beside me saying, "I'm just making sure that you are sure you want to be eating that!" She's good at that, and very diplomatic, as well! :)

Here's to a better Tuesday! Goodnight!

Bits and pieces, odds and ends. . .

. . . or just a bit rambling thoughts

First
A happy Mother's Day to everyone! Whether you are the mother of two legged creatures, or four. Or if you are an aunt who loves like a mother. Or a teacher. Or a friend. Whether you fall into any of those categories, or many. Mother's day is a time to celebrate you all! I believe it is coded into human genetics to love and protect and care for other humans, especially the youngest of our collective tribe.Whether by choice or circumstance we have no children of our own, we have the capacity to love and care deeply, and hopefully we all have been cared for by at least one of the ranks among us. So, today is a day to celebrate all of them, especially our mothers.

We celebrated my mom yesterday, with her favorite--Mexican take out! :) (The proverbial apple does not fall. . . .) She loves nothing more than to have us all gathered in the house. Sadly, my 2nd sister could not be there (name left out to protect her privacy), she and her husband did surprise Mom last weekend with a visit, and we were all gathered then. Mom, if true mom-style, deflected the attention from herself and gave me a Mother's Day card, thanking me for being her daughter. As if I had a choice! :) It makes me happy to know that I have made her happy! Love you mom! (You got a shout out in my blog! Hahaha.)

Second
This past week was Teacher Appreciation week. And appreciated we felt--although for SC teachers, it was PASS testing. From cards, and special treats, announcements and duty-free lunch/outside duty, our administrations, assistants, and secretaries at White Knoll Middle School made the teachers feel appreciated. I typically do, anyway, but the extras were nice, too. What meant the most, however, were the students that made a special effort to say thank you, even if I they weren't in my class this semester. The parents that sent emails thanking me for what I do. The ones that wrote notes on the bottoms of interims, and permission slips. And the very special students that emailed or texted happy Mother's Day today. Those sweet, special students that have forever left their marks on me.

It was also a wonderful opportunity for me to tell those teachers from Elementary school through Grad school how much they meant to me. And hearing back from some of them was really special. And those correspondences are filed away, both literally and figuratively, for when I need some inspiration and encouragement.

Third
My weight loss journey continues. I am fairly certain that most of you that read this blog are my friend on Facebook, but just in case there are some that are not, I'll post a before and current picture. (It's not after yet, because I have a long way to go.) I feel so good and healthy! I took an extended break this week--almost an entire week--in the hopes of confusing my metabolism in a way and speeding up some more weight loss. If it doesn't work, oh well. It's an experiment. I have utmost faith in the integrity of the Xyngular products. They do what they purport to. So, I'm starting a new 8 day cycle tomorrow. Ready to get back to clean, healthy eating. And ready to teach myself that days off doesn't necessarily mean "bad" eating, but still clean eating with just a little more calories and a splurge or two here and there.  Even though I was not actively losing weight this week (Not really gaining, either), Mom greeted me this weekend with, "You've lost more since last weekend!" While scale-wise I haven't, I am still re-shaping and toning, etc. My new-sized clothes are staring to feel loose already. I can see more definition on my arms. And I'm doing some research on targeted toning on thighs, stomach, etc. I don't have to, in order to continue losing weight, but I feel I need to get working on an exercise program, of sorts. There's a group on Facebook, doing a workout challenge. But there is one exercise--a burpee--that I just cannot do. I'm still going to give it a try to see if I can get a hang of it. Or I'll think of a way to replace it--mountain climbers, maybe. We'll see. It will just be fun to do this challenge with others for support, encouragement, etc. We'll see. I'm not going to stress about it, though. I'll do what I can to find what works best for me.

I was astounded that no caught the mistake on the dates. (Either that, or they didn't want me to freak out if they told me. Hahaha.) Rest assured that the 3rd row should be on 5-08-13! On this collage, I can finally see the resuls without having to scrutinized each little millimeter. )We're always hardest on ourselves, aren't we?





Fourth
I had a conversation with someone recently that is a wonderful friend and reads my blog regularly. He was worried or hurt by something I had because he thought I was referring to him. (I wasn't. Now I am, though. Hahaha.) I hope want all my friends and loved to know that these posts are not not a way to passive-aggressively air any grievances or dirty laundry. Hahaha. That's what Facebook is for. Just kidding!! I'm just chronicling my journey--all of them: weight loss, spiritual, personal growth, etc. I never want anyone to feel "called out" in my posts. I try to use as few names as possible to honor privacy. I use this to entertain and communicate and hopefully inspire those of you that follow, or some that stumble upon it. I use it as a way to process what is happening in the world around me. A means of self-therapy, you may say. So, I sometimes prattle on and on as I work things out, and you may stop reading. Some subjects involve some of my readers, and I encourage you to leave comments, if you'd like. And finally, I also encourage anyone to contact me if you feel like I misspeak, misrepresent anything, or flat out hurt your feelings.

Finally
I do enjoy writing these posts. It keeps me writing, when otherwise I may not take the time. Knowing I have a bit of an audience helps as well. It helps me be a better writer, even though I don't always prove it. There are some posts that I do feel are quality work, however. Not all. We all have our off days, right? And in the spirit of appreciation--I do appreciate those of you that read faithfully. It makes me smile. As I regain my focus on my journey to wellness, I hope that if you know someone that this blog may help, please share the website. I found a meme on Facebook this weekend that I'd like to keep as a personal mantra. It explains why I'm doing all of this:

I love this. I believe I was put here to help others: children, adults, friends, and strangers. Whether that is physical help or through inspiration, I take my mission to heart. I hope I can give each one of you that reads this something, too. Even if it's just a laugh once in a while.


Have wonderful week, friends! And for the teachers out there--it won't be long now! :)

Today's been. . .

. . . a day! (and it's only 1:00 pm)

But instead of going negative, I'm going to keep this short, sweet, and positive--

45 pounds gone--officially! That's hard to fathom, until I think about the 45 pounds that I used to put on the machine to work my arms when I went to the gym. Man, I got tired quickly then!

Speaking of gym--and no, I'm not joining a different one-- last night I did actually use some of the exercises that I found on Pinterest. All 4 or 5 of them consist on lying on my back with my feet on the wall. I figure any exercise that I would've gotten in trouble for doing when I was a child can't be all bad. Kind of fun, actually. No impact. Lots of stretching legs, hips, abs, etc.

Here's the site: http://www.prevention.com/fitness/strength-training/love-your-lower-body . The dogs thought I was nuts! So that was another bonus.

I may actually have a real Coke today. I deserve it!! (It's an off day.)

In case you didn't get if from yesterday's post, I LOVE MY XYNGULAR. Take a leap of faith and join me!

I'm going to go be kind to someone now just because I want to! Cheers!

Playing, playing with my words. . .

An explanation

Today I gave 1 class the opportunity to write for 10 minutes. I call it a mind dump, mainly because that's what you do, just dump everything out of your mind. The kids, however, several years ago told me that it's like your brain is "taking a dump." Their words, not mine. But they liked it. And it's middle school. And scatological humor kills in middle school, so I've stuck with the name. Some kids ask for a topic, and I give them a broad one: family, friends, school, decaying roadkill. Then they put pen to paper--or fingers to "keyboard" on the iPad--and write for 10 minutes. Whatever comes to mind, however it comes to mind. Sometimes we get stories, sometimes we even get poems, sometimes we get revelations, often we get streams of consciousness and when we share, we laugh about the tangents our mind takes. Well today, I wrote--typed--along with them. My broad topic was Xyngular, and I began it as a list. However, as I promised last week, I decided to take what I had written and change it to a Wordle. (Awesome site, see www.wordle.net) It takes the words most-used, throws out the little words: a, an, and, the, I, etc., and puts the words into a cool shape-like blob. I made 4 using the text of my "mind dump." I wanted to see different effects. I'll include all 4, as well as the original text for the "dump" below. (Fingers crossed that I can get this to work!)

Other than Xyngular, what words stand out? Do different ones stand out on different Wordles? The original text is below, and true to the spirit of the "mind dump," I did not edit, check spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. That's also the reason it may sound repetitive or juvenile. I was typing against the clock. And didn't take a second more! All hail the mind dump--Huzzah!!

 I hope everyone had a great Monday!


Xyngular is a God send, or Why I love Xyngular.

Xyngular products have offered me a way to get control of my eating

Xyngular has offered helped me break my carb addiction face life with more energy and become successful at losing weight and becoming healthy

With the Xyngular products I have learned to make healthy wise clean choices when I eat. And though intellectually I could do this before, I wasn’t able to.

The energy I gain from the Xyngular products has helped in my professional and personal life.

Before I began taking Xyng, I barely could make it through the day. As a teacher, it was hard with no energy. But the energy I have now take me through the school day, after school rehearsals and into the evening at home.

Not only has my energy increased, but my sleeping has increased, as well. And it is a deeper more restful sleep.

There is no jittery-ness that keeps me up at night.

I also have been relieved of the little and big aches and pains that used to aggravate me. The chronic pain I felt before was like a gnat that I couldn’t get rid of. It was something I lived with. So the relief is something that takes a few days and/or weeks to realize. I have found myself on several occasions saying, wow. My ears don’t hurt anymore. I like this long term relief. It is natural

Which leads me to the natural products themselves. I like that I can pronounce all of the words on the ingredient list. And I’m learning so much about nutrition and protein. It helps me maximize what the products are doing.

On top of that, there are the visible results. Results that people can see. Results that I can see. Results that I can feel! I truly find myself, when I am having conversations with people, saying in my head, “Xyngular can help with that. Xyngular can help with that, too.”

And things I never thought would never be affected by what I consumed—hair, complexion, finger nail health—have surprised me by improving. And sometimes it takes people to point these results out. I cannot see the difference in my complexion, because I really don’t pay attention, but others do and see what has happened.

Xyngular has given my  health, has helped see that I can be a success, and that this success is long-lasting and can flow to other areas of my life.

I love love love what Xyngular is doing in my life. And that the rewards are financial, as well. But that is not the priority. I want to share these products with everyone. I want them to know that they, too, can experience what I have and become the person God designed them to be.

The F Words. . .

. . . Fear, Frustration, Faith

Inspiration, or lack thereof, is an enigma. I had plenty of time this weekend to blog. I even sat down to do it twice. Heck, I have part of a draft for one of those "sessions." Yet nothing. Frustration.

I wrote the check out for my rent, paid a friend for a shirt she ordered for me. Checked my bank account. Fear. Frustration.

Went to see a close friend trying to deal with anxiety, and doing very well on a chaotic day. Fear. Faith.

Waiting for text messages, phone calls, and or Facebook messages to be returned. Fear. Frustration. Faith.

Changed my monthly Xyngular order, actually I'm ordering more, so I have some on hand for samples. Faith.

I've been wrestling with these words a lot lately. Their relationship to one another. How I deal with them, hence their relationship to me. I think we're meant to wrestle with things like this, and maybe never have concrete answers. Faith?

A close friend of mine has told me many times that I "cannot live in both fear and faith." Truthfully, it has always hurt my heart a little bit. As someone who is always questioning and wrestling with my faith to be sure that I am growing and not stagnating, and as someone who not only wants to please my friends/family and hell, even myself, but also wants to live my faith out in the world so that my God be pleased with me, I felt my faith was being questioned, well not questioned, but maybe insinuated that I didn't have faith.

Well, I do, damn-it!

Note, this is not a rampage against the friend who told me this, but a slow revelation of the journey discovering what it truly means. I cannot live in both fear and faith. Having said that, for the past couple of hours, I've turned to the internet to explore what psychologists, scholars, theologians, and normal everyday people have said about it. (The research bug hits very hard sometimes.) I don't mean to disappoint, but it is impossible to fully explore this in this one blog post, and maybe even ever. In fact, researching this has led to other questions, the relationship of frustration and fear, anger and fear, fear of scarcity, fear and the family of origin, and finally fear and love and the true nature of God. I may need to take a sabbatical to complete this. (Oooooo, there's an idea. Beginning my letter to Mr. Smith and the District Office right now.)

The surface, cursory answer that I found this morning when I was skipping church--I wonder how that ties in? O.o (face courtesy of one of my "fake sons," who does tie in a bit, in a weird way.) Anyway. . . . In a recovery discussion forum, I found this quote:  "'Faith is the courage that allows us to walk through the fear' and further explained that as I walk through the fear my faith deepens." Isn’t it amazing what we can find when we Google? I could go on a long tangent here, but I won’t. As I said before, “Anyway . . . .” This did it for me. It made me understand what my sensitive nature would have written off as a condemnation of my lack of faith. Instead it is a rally cry, encouraging me to continue on, even though my fear may be stopping me. It was in defense of my faith—that I wrongly thought was being questioned—that I began the whole “fear and frustration” line of research. That is what I cannot answer today, “What is the difference between fear and frustration?” It has given me a topic for my therapy session tomorrow. So I will go armed with a list of things that I can currently identify as what I fear.

1. my business not growing
2. unanswered texts/messages and why
3. disappointing my family and friends
4. running out of money
5. not knowing what I'm doing/being wrong
6. making wrong decisions
7. being lonely

I can tell you two things after looking at that list: items 2-7 have been on my list for a long time, and item 1 has reawakened/caused me to look at items 2-7 in a new light. (I think my therapist will be giddy with new therapeutic windows to open!) And I also plan to discuss with her the relationship and/or differences of fear and frustration. She'll be able to help me untangle what I truly fear from what frustrates me, if indeed there is a difference. (Oh my God, I'm talking in circles! I must stop!)

But in the time since I began this post, I've thought of many more topics that I can write about--all, in one way or another, tying into this journey!

• Salads, like sandwiches, are better when someone else makes them
• The frustrations of cleaning
• Celebrating friends' successes
• A Xyngular Wordle
• And others that have already flown from my mind

Have a great week, everyone!

I leave you with a photo a friend of mine posted on Facebook that really made me think . . . 

. . . and it may be a tie-in for this post as well.

She shoots. . .

. . .  she scores!

Hello, everyone! I just reviewed some of my April goals. Wow--did I have a lot of them; however some were longer term goals, so I won't freak out, yet. As I stated before, I hate setting goals because I typically get really negative when I do not achieve them. Well, my name is Debb, and I did not achieve all of my goals this month, and I'm ok. Sheesh--talk about personal growth!

Weight
I met my weight goal of being down 43 pounds and 53 inches. Almost exactly! I'm  going to shoot for another 8 pounds (two a week), and since I don't know how to set inch goals, I'll set an arbitrary one of being down 60 inches. I would like to target the belly some more this month, so maybe I'll consciously work on that.

Wellness
Good news! I went to the doctor to have blood work on Friday. Got the results in the mail today! I am not longer considered diabetic. No more meds. My blood pressure was good after being off my medicine for a month (which I don't advocate others doing, but I was very careful). No more meds! My total cholesterol is optimal; my good cholesterol is good, could be a little higher; my bad cholesterol is still a little high. Meds are iffy. I'm going to try to work on it with diet. Now this surprised me--my uric acid level is high, which causes gout (which is still a drunk ol' man disease in my head). I think without a flare up, I will continue to go without my medicine for that. I need to cut out some red meat and seafood, I think. That will help. And Xypstix for flare-ups! AND---I can cut my antidepressant in half! So excited!

Have not started an exercise regimen yet, but I've given myself the goal of the end of May this month. So, it's time! I've found some fun-looking exercises on Pinterest. I'll try them.

Xyngular Business
This one is where I really fell down last month. It is frustrating, but as I told one of my friends, I'm not giving up! Goal for this month--Gold Manager. I can do it. I still am working on developing myself as a strong leader, that sponsors people and coaches them, as well. I will continue to cultivate relationships within the company. I will also reevaluate my "Whys." I think about them all the time. I need to find what really motivates me to build!!

I'll work on my school and personal ones later. I've got some work to do tonight. And books to read. And t.v. to watch. . . .hahaha!

New month--new energy!

My Story. . .

. . .as of April 8.

I’ve always had a weight issue. ALWAYS! I don’t think that I always realized it. I remember being at Girl Scout Camp—Camp Little Cloud, in the Whippoorwills group—in 2^nd grade and one of my tent mates, Stacy, asked why my stomach poked out like it did and hers didn’t. She was just making an observation, not being mean or making fun. That’s the first time I remember someone pointing it out. As I grew up, my weight increased—duh, everyone’s does. What I mean is it went up faster than I was growing. And when I stopped getting taller, around 7^th grade, the weight didn’t stop. I never really put on a huge amount at once, it just never remained steady, but rose steadily.

Flash forward to about 2008. I began going to a gym, had a trainer once a week, and lost about 15 pounds. Emotionally I was not ready to change my habits—of course I’m recognizing this in hindsight. And when I went to lunch with my family, who were in town for a visit, and I felt so good about myself, was wearing a dress that had fit snugly, but was fitting perfectly. Although I was 30-something, I couldn’t wait to hear my family tell me how good I was doing, but my father did not make a comment on how I’d lost weight, nor did my mother. (I found out later that she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want my father to say something hurtful or unkind, even though it would’ve been in jest.) I kind of lost the drive. I ended up putting back on the pounds that I had lost plus another 35 over the next 4 years.

This brings us to the summer of 2012. I had been having some issues, so I went to my doctor. I found out two things: my blood sugar was still high, despite being on a medication for it, and that I had cancer. After several ultrasounds and a procedure, it was confirmed that I had uterine cancer. I was stunned. A little over 30 days after being diagnosed, on Sept. 11, 2012, I had a total hysterectomy. Thankfully all the cancer was removed. I was still left numb-feeling all the time, and I had something new to contend with—menopause. (At least 7 years earlier than I had anticipated, I will add.) I was blessed with a positive diagnosis, but still reeling in the aftermath.

My Nurse Practitioner, after the surgery, wanted to put me on another medication for the blood sugar—I will not say I have diabetes, only that my sugar is high—and I told her I was determined to not need it. So that, complimented with what I read about how it is sometimes harder to lose weight after menopause, in addition to reading that diet, obesity, etc. may have played a huge role in my cancer in the first place, sent me into a tail spin. I was crashing. I couldn’t make it through the day without napping, which sometimes meant napping during my planning period at school, so I could make it through afternoon play rehearsal with my students. I didn’t see how anything was ever going to get any better.

Then in December, 3 months and 6 days after my surgery, my friend introduced me to some health and wellness products that have changed—and maybe saved—my life--Xyngular. I began using the products on December 27. I have not taken a nap since then. I have not gotten sick, except for 1 upper respiratory infection this winter. I have come off of 3 prescription medications, and am poised to come off my blood pressure medicine (that I’ve been on since college in 1990) and the medicine for my blood sugar by the end of summer at the latest. But best of all, as of March 27, 90 days into my new lifestyle, I have lost 35 pounds and 45 inches. I have broken my carb addiction and have changed the way I eat completely, and am loving the new lifestyle entirely. I cannot ever see myself going back to my old ways—ever.

So, there you have it, in a rather large nutshell. I am shouting from the roof tops about Xyngular and about how the products and the system have changed me. I still have soooo much more to go, the size of a small person, but I KNOW I will do it. The old Debb is gone, and I’m loving the new!

Tomorrow's post: Updated measurements, medical results, etc.